Love Letter

Dear love-

I am sitting here at a crossroads. I am breathing heavily and can not seem to find my way. The signs are flashing as they pass by too fast to read, but I know they are there. I try to scream but my tongue feels stuck to the roof of my mouth as if it knows it will say something it soon will regret. My tears stream down my face and hit the ground with a sharp whistle as if each tear has an individual cry. I stand there naked. With nothing but honesty and truth. As you clothe yourself with lies and fears. I reveal my deepest wounds as you cover yours with self-pity. Oh how I wish you would say those words.... those three words that my ears have so desperately been waiting to hear. "I want you", "I need you", "I am yours". It's no longer a game. For the clock has run out. The lights have been turned off. And the towel has been thrown in. You won. You took the crowd and had them standing in awe. Applauding your strength and courage to crush the one who understood every flaw every turn off every negative aspect about you.... but some reason still stood there with an open heart and a chance. A chance to make things work. Finally. I may have been playing the wrong game. At the wrong time. But every second that passed I thought of you. Every breathe. You crossed my mind. Oh how I still feel your lips and touch and warmth. But soon I will no longer feel your lips. No longer feel your touch. Soon will be cold. As cold as you were when you let me go. I fell. I fell so hard. Fell for your charm. Your lies. Your everything. And as I fell my heart broke. Broke into pieces so small that they could fit in a hole of a needle. You no longer are able to fix this. You are no longer able to make it better with sorry. For sorry is no longer in your vocabulary. I am not saying goodbye to you. But I am letting you go. But I will try to fix what I have broken before I leave. Before I walk out holding back the tears you so occasionally cause me to cry. I am strong but when it comes to you I am weak. Constantly looking back and no longer watching for what is in front of me. Soon will miss the sign. The sign that you displayed for me. The sign that reveals reality. The reality that I will never hold you. Will never have all of you. Will never look into your eyes and know that everything I gave to you was worth it. For you no longer look at me. You have turned away. Afraid to see what you could so easily possess. Because you love... are afraid of yourself. Afraid of what could be.